For the longest time, people around me were ever so curious to know what compels me to capture things with my camera. But in all honesty, it’s the annoyance that grew instead; something that stemmed from the refusal to live in the moment, just like them.
It’d just stopped raining, and we were lucky to witness the sunset that followed with its beautiful hues. As I fished for my phone to capture the moment, you popped the very question I’d grown tired of answering; which was ironic, because for a person who constantly strove to be different, you were now at par with the hundreds who’d asked me this question.
I turned to you and smiled, because despite knowing each other for this long, it surprised me how little you know of me. But more importantly, it hurt knowing I was not worth remembering the little things about.
Yet, I chose to answer your question by letting you in on something that you’d eventually forget: my fear of oblivion. I fear that these moments of my life; pieces of art, will be lost in the frenzy of my head over the years.
It’s these transient moments, like the clouds that need to be documented and immortalize them, no matter how trivial.
People talk about living the moment. The truth however, is that time slips away within the blink of an eye and you’re only left with memories that you gradually forget; just like you’ll let go of me. But who was I to say this out loud? What I feared the most was you forgetting me in bits and pieces, until every speck of my existence gradually faded away from your life, leaving a space that could be replaced with the snap of a finger.
I came out of my spiral only to see you looking at me intently, waiting for me to continue, but I chose to keep this particular train of thought on hold. After all, I couldn’t bear myself anymore.
Hence, after I was done savouring the sky, I turned around to realize that the only way I could immortalize you was through art. With that thought, I took out my camera again; and as you continued to shy away from the lens, I gently took your hand away from your face, for art needs to be preserved, and so do you.