Image Credits: Chythra C, Arjun Kumar
I have been writing out of spite for some time now. Spite, anger, ego. The intoxicating high of writing drives up your self-esteem, often to the border of narcissism. It is temporary, ephemeral and yet, gratifying. Without an admission of such a pleasure, I believe any writer’s self-reflections become incomplete. Nobody out there is writing just to “make the world a better place” or because they want to “convey their message”. We are selfish beings craving compliments and acceptance. The first time I ever passionately wrote a whole essay was in my twelfth grade to convince my parents that I really am into social science. Spite. My brother was quick to support and encourage me, quite out of character for a sibling. The second time I ever wrote was when my teacher in twelfth grade criticised the reservation system and said it leads to further discrimination. I wanted to argue with her then and there, but quickly realised that I did not have enough knowledge to debate on this. The ideas were in my head, but they were all over the place. I needed to concretise those thoughts and so, I went home and wrote. Anger. That was the Reservation essay which I later published in The 8:10. The article in particular had great reception. Friends and seniors who read it appreciated the writing, while some even argued with me on it. I even had a passed-out senior email congratulating me— the happiness was unbearable. Ego. Perhaps tackling a controversial issue and articulating such a complex policy was what won hearts. I initially experienced fear and anxiety about sharing my article. Since then, I have come to understand that as long as opinions are well-informed through extensive research, there is no reason to be apprehensive, no room for fear and absolutely no necessity for anxiety. It is not all spite, anger or ego, though. There is also a satisfaction from arriving at an opinion after scouring many sources and being ready with a response to an incoming argument, almost like a premeditated chess match, where you know all the incoming moves.
This photo of me was taken by my dear friend Sai Shreya.
By now, I have overused it but it’s very rare that I actually like a picture of myself.
Joining The 8:10 was always a goal for me, even before joining GIPE. Being a part of The 8:10 and writing every month has brought discipline into my writing and it has resulted in me writing more frequently than I ever would have. I have absolutely loved every moment of writing with The 8:10, and it still hasn’t sunk in that I get to be a part of its decision-making. I am looking forward to continue writing fearlessly and out of spite, anger and ego. It is no sin to admit your vices in writing. The world becomes a better place when someone in anger, lifts up a pen instead of a sword.